Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot.....Everybody!!

Whew, I cracked myself up with that title...

Yesterday was a two shot day, one flu vaccine, and a dose of my thrice weekly Rebif "therapy". I am a little annoyed with my Rebif at the moment; it seems to be the culprit to a whole slew of my problems. Last week,  as I mentioned before, it gave me its signature flu symptoms. It may also be screwing with my emotions, which is always a joy ride. My primary care doc seems to think that my cognitive issues are also linked to my medication, which I actually took as good news, because that means that the MS is not going after my brain. I was really worried about that.

I'm guessing that I am experiencing what some in the MS community call "needle fatigue" (as if I need ANOTHER kind of fatigue in my life). Needle fatigue is when you just get sick and tired of giving your injection and begin to resent the treatment. Last Thursday, when I was so unbelievably exhausted, I skipped my injection because I was so frustrated. I'm about 99% sure that was not the best way to deal with my frustration. But after talking to my doctors and doing a little soul searching, I realized that the benefits of the medicine probably outweigh the side effects/annoyances, so I am back on my schedule.

As much as having to give myself and injection three times a week sucks, I also realized that the ability to do so kind of makes me a rock star super-heroine. One time I was indulging in my Saturday guilty pleasure of watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and on an episode, Kim decided to freeze her eggs. In order for the egg harvest to be successful, she had to give herself a hormone injection in the stomach. This girl squealed and screamed and jumped around, and finally had to have her mom give her the shot because she couldn't do it. Talk about a self-esteem boost! I've gotten so comfortable with needles, that I actually asked the nurse to show me the size of the flu shot needle, so I could compare it to the ones I use. Rock star. It may almost be time for my next tattoo. ;)

Moral of the story: If you read this and can relate to needle fatigue, just remember that you are better at something than Kim Kardashian. Stay the course, friend. Your shots are helping more than you know.

So, You Have A Loved One With MS....

Oh, boy, Ladies and Gents, have I got a gem for you today! I found this article on another website about invisible disabilities. It is so amazing and accurate about living with MS that I just HAD to share. Instead of making you click and follow a link, I am pasting the entire article here. I did not write this. See hyperlink above for original source.

"Multiple What? Untangling the Perplexities of Multiple Sclerosis

© 1991 – 2011 Invisible Disabilities Association.Order This Pamphlet

Who Has MS?

It is difficult to know just exactly how many people are affected by MS, because “doctors and hospitals do not have to report numbers to the health department, etc. since MS is not a contagious disease like AIDS or tuberculosis” said Kathy Jensen of the National MS Society.

However, in 2001, it was estimated that there were 350,000 people living with MS in the United States; that is about 1 in every 1000 people (NMSS). About 85% of those with MS have relapsing/remitting MS, while around 15% have progressive MS (NMSS).

Generally, with RRMS, a person’s symptoms may come and go. However, with each relapse, the symptoms can worsen and not resolve completely. Many of them find help to slow down the disease and relapses from various treatments and MS specific    prescriptions. For those with a progressive form of MS, they generally do not have remissions as the symptoms progress at various rates. They are not always candidates for medications designed to help a person with RRMS to avoid further relapses and progression.

It’s Not Always Obvious

It is estimated that about 33% of people living with MS use a wheelchair most of the time. However,  65% percent of people with MS are not working (NMSS). Not everyone living with MS has a disability nor are they disabled. Yet, for those who are debilitated, we need to realize that a disability is not always visible.

Notably, the 1994-1995 Survey of Income and Program Participation (SIPP) found that about 54 million people had some level of disability and 26 million persons were considered to have a severe disability. Yet, only 7.0 million persons used a visible device for mobility (McNeil); thus, 19 million people who were defined as severely disabled, did not use a wheelchair, cane, crutches or walkers.

In other words, 73% of Americans with severe disabilities do not use such devices. Therefore, a disability cannot be determined solely on whether or not a person uses a cane, walker or wheelchair.

Whether or not a person living with MS uses a cane, walker or wheelchair, one of the biggest complaints is that people assume they are “feeling good,” because they are told they “look good.” Many with MS have difficulty working and performing duties of daily living, because of the “invisible” symptoms such as extreme fatigue, pain, weakness, exhaustion and cognitive impairments.

This can be quite frustrating for someone with MS, because despite the way they look on the outside, they may be greatly hurting on the inside. Their symptoms,  limitations and damage from the disease are not always apparent from the outside. Debbie, a woman from South Carolina wrote, “I have M.S. and I can not make my husband understand he can not see how I feel” (IDA Guestbook).

What most people do not realize is that MS can cause over 35 different symptoms. Many of these can range from mild to debilitating and from occasional to constant. Here are just a few: Exhaustion, stiffness, numbness, tingling, blurred vision, depression, disorientation, dizziness, in-coordination, acute pain, speech problems, parashtesia, flu-like symptoms, headaches, cognitive difficulties, memory loss, bowel/bladder dysfunction and mild to debilitating fatigue (RMMSC).

Whether or not their limitations seem obvious on the  outside, it is vitally important to remember their struggle on the inside. For those who are able to walk, each step to them may be like hiking up a very steep mountain with a severe case of the flu. Moreover, for those who cannot, their wheelchair is not always the only obstacle in which they must contend.

Not All MS Patients Are Alike

Multiple Sclerosis actually means, multiple scars. These scars are the destroyed myelin, which is a vital, insulating material in the brain and around the spinal chord. This myelin is similar to the insulation around the wiring of your alarm clock. If there is a defect in the wire, the electricity will not be able to travel correctly from the socket to your clock (or as in humans, from your brain to your body parts).

The severity, amount and location of the myelin damage are all factors in the determination of whether or not the messages from the brain are getting to their destination. Thus, even if you know someone else who has been    diagnosed with MS, it does not mean that another person should be affected in the same way. One may not have as much scar tissue or it may not be in an area that is as   crucial to the central nervous system, than the other.

In some cases, it has been documented where the myelin has regenerated and healed. This can be very  positive, as it could mean that the progression of the MS is  slowing. Still, the nerves underneath could remain damaged even though the outer coating of the nerves has mended.

One thing that is stressed in seminars and literature about MS is that every patient is different. Each has their own set of symptoms, degree of symptoms and level of limitations. The fact that your Aunt Gertrude is living with only occasional symptoms or ones that are not  debilitating, does not mean this is how another person should be.

People living with MS have to make various adjustments at different levels. Some experience occasional symptoms that are manageable with changes in diet, stress, exercise and medications. Some struggle with frequent bouts in which they must make adjustments in their work and schedules at home in  order to avoid these relapses. Others endure debilitating pain and fatigue that rarely or never goes away.

During relapse for some patients with MS, even simple household tasks that once were never given a thought can be a challenge or virtually impossible. For instance, simply dusting could have to be spread out into a two-day chore. Even preparing a meal is often a goal that these patients struggle to accomplish.

In all, we must be mindful that telling someone with MS that our Aunt Gertrude has the same thing, yet she is doing well. This can make them feel as if we are implying they must not be trying as hard as they should or they are complaining too much.

Managing Limitations

Imagine feeling weak, in pain or like you have the flu and you struggle just to lift your arms or stand, knowing you need to do every day things like take a shower, make a meal or wash some laundry. Each day you must pick and choose one or two things to accomplish, leaving the other 100 things to accumulate.

Going out for an errand or social gathering takes even another juggle. In order to exert the energy to do this, many with MS must prepare for the journey by giving up various daily duties. For some, after the excursion, their symptoms often multiply and intensify.

Your friend or relative may experience  symptoms from the inside that can be debilitating, even though they appear to be fine on the outside. As a result, we need to learn to listen to them when they tell us they are unable to complete a task or participate in an activity.

We often have difficulty understanding these hurdles, but it is crucial for us to allow those living with MS to make necessary changes according to their limitations.

In order to cope and thrive, they must avoid  overdoing and overexertion or their symptoms can worsen. Therefore, it is very important to remember that they know when and what they can and cannot do, in order to manage their MS.

We should not feel as if we need to “cheer” them back to the “way they were before.” Remember, your loved one did not choose to have this disorder and they will fight every day to keep their dreams and desires alive. Most likely, no one would like to be back to normal our loved one. Nonetheless, faulting them for  not being able to do things they used to be able to do, could only make them feel as if they are no longer valuable.

In fact, the last thing they want is to give up those   activities in their lives that are dear to them. Yet, when they push themselves beyond their limitations, they can become much worse. As a consequence, increased stress, exposure to heat and overtaxing oneself can all cause a relapse, exacerbation of symptoms or even  further permanent damage.

The best way to support a loved one in this situation is to allow him or her to say, “no” when they feel they need to, even when we do not totally understand why. If they are repeatedly asked to do what they have told us they cannot handle, this will only add to their frustration,   feelings of worthlessness and mourning of their losses. Moreover, they will feel alone in their challenges, because we do not understand or respect their boundaries.

What Can We Do?

1) Avoid the temptation to make a visual diagnosis by stating, “Gee, you look like you are feeling good.” We cannot see how they feel on the inside, from the outside.

 2) Learn to be aware of their symptoms, despite how chipper they may appear during our visit with them. After all, they smile because they enjoy seeing us. They are also trying to keep a positive outlook, despite the pain, not necessarily because they feel good and are doing well.

3) Do not push for them to tell us they are “having a good day,” if they are not. Some have mostly good days and some bad. Some have mostly bad and some good. We should allow them to be honest.

4) Acknowledge what they are going through. It may mean a few or even a whole lot of changes and losses. They do not require our complete understanding, just our belief in them.

 5) Respect their limitations. When a person has MS, they must manage their condition by staying within boundaries. Over-doing oneself only can lead to increase in symptoms. We must allow them to say “no,” even if we do not fully understand.

6) Tell them how much we admire their strength and determination. Many times people living with illness are treated as if they are just being weak or lazy. But, if we examine the evidence, we will find someone who actually has incredible courage, strength and perseverance.

How Can We Help?

How can we help? We can try offering to pick something up from the store when we go, bringing them a picnic lunch, vacuuming their floors, doing a load of laundry during our visit or sending them a note to say we care. They already feel like a burden, so we should not wait for them to call us for help.

Finally, people living with MS do not want pity, they simply need our love and support. We should not worry that addressing their hurdles will discourage them! After all, ignoring what they are facing and trying to downplay it can leave them feeling as if we do not have any idea how what they are going through.

For that reason, we can validate their feelings by listening and acknowledging their concerns. This will give them strength and hope to know we are standing by them. Most of all, when we let them know that we see them as the courageous, strong, determined people that they are, they will fight even harder!

Resources:
IDA Guestbook, from the IDA Website, 2000.
McNeil, John M., U.S. Department of Commerce, Census Bureau, Current Population Reports, Americans With Disabilities: 1994-95, August 1997
(RMMSC) Rocky Mountain MS Center, Seminar for Newly Diagnosed, March 1991.
(NMSS) National MS Society, Email Interview with Kathy Jensen, October 2001."

Hey, me again. Isn't that wonderful!?! I just LOVE the tips for friends and relatives. 

Have a blessed day.

Fatigue Part 2

I was in a very frustrated place when I wrote my last post. While I am still quite frustrated, I am taking action to manage my MS. I talked to my doctor about my most recent concerns and found out that there is a whole list of medications that can help people with fatigue. My doc prescribed me one. I am a bit nervous about it because it is a controlled substance stimulant that can foster addiction, but if it helps, it may be well worth it. It is called Provigil and is commonly prescribed for people with MS lassitude/fatigue.

After reading my most recent posts and paying attention to my thoughts and actions recently, I also noticed warning signs that my depression and anxiety have been increasing, like taking Xanax more frequently and being more down in the dumps and apathetic and sarcastic and generally nasty to people, so I asked the doc about that as well. She told me that the injection therapy that I am on to manage my MS progression (Rebif) has worsening depression and anxiety as side effects...fabulous. At least it's not my fault. I also contacted my primary care doc (not my MS specialist) to see about adjusting my meds. Oh, yeah, the Provigil has the depression and anxiety side effects too....fun. Sounds like I am going to be a bundle of joy this Christmas.

While all of this drama makes me want to bang my head on the keyboard, I know that by the end of the week I will be well on my way to getting things straightened out. Hallelujah.

Fatigue.....Tiring in so many ways

Today's post is about fatigue, specifically the unexplainable fatigue that happens to people with MS and other diseases. Why talk about being tired? Because if you think fatigue is the same as needing a nap, you are wrong. So, let me shed some light on this mysterious energy zapper.

According to WebMD, "Medically speaking, fatigue is not the same thing as tiredness. Tiredness happens to everyone -- it is an expected feeling after certain activities or at the end of the day. Usually you know why you are tired and a good night's sleep solves the problem.

Fatigue is a daily lack of energy; unusual or excessive whole-body tiredness not relieved by sleep. It can be acute (lasting a month or less) or chronic (lasting from one to six months or longer). Fatigue can prevent a person from functioning normally and affects a person's quality of life."

The National MS Society says, "Fatigue is one of the most common symptoms of MS, occurring in about 80% of people. Fatigue can significantly interfere with a person's ability to function at home and at work, and may be the most prominent symptom in a person who otherwise has minimal activity limitations. Fatigue is one of the primary causes of early departure from the workforce.

What Makes MS Fatigue Different?

• Generally occurs on a daily basis

• May occur early in the morning, even after a restful night’s sleep

• Tends to worsen as the day progresses

• Tends to be aggravated by heat and humidity

• Comes on easily and suddenly

• Is generally more severe than normal fatigue

• Is more likely to interfere with daily responsibilities

Several different kinds of fatigue occur in MS. For example, people who have bladder dysfunction (producing night-time awakenings) or nocturnal muscle spasms, may be sleep deprived and suffer from fatigue as a result. People who are depressed may also suffer fatigue. And anyone who needs to expend considerable effort just to accomplish daily tasks (e.g., dressing, brushing teeth, bathing, preparing meals) may suffer from additional fatigue as a result.

In addition to these sources of fatigue, there is another kind of fatigue—referred to as lassitude—that is unique to people with MS. Researchers are beginning to outline the characteristics of this so-called "MS fatigue" that make it different from fatigue experienced by persons without MS.

MS-related fatigue does not appear to be directly correlated with either depression or the degree of physical impairment."

To that list, Dr. Julie Stachowiak adds, "For some people, there are additional related symptoms, including:

• Feeling of heaviness in the arms and legs

• Worsening of other symptoms, such as problems with balance or vision, or slurring speech

• Difficulty concentrating

• Vertigo or dizziness"

So what is important here is that if you are experiencing fatigue on a regular basis, you really should talk to your doctor. If you would like to read the full articles that I pulled the info from you can find them here, here, and here. You can also find information about what medications your doctor might prescribe to help you cope.

I have been dealing with fatigue for a while now and have recently been missing more work and class because of it, so I called my doctor today. Frankly, I am tired of feeling exhausted. When it happened today, it felt like a vacuum was attached to me and it was sucking out my energy. Within 10 minutes, my arms and legs felt heavy and I was slurring my speech. I tried vitamins, caffeine, a snack and resting for a few minutes, but nothing gave me relief. Some people say that individuals with MS fatigue should treat their energy like a bank, saving energy during the day or over the course of a week so that they are more likely to have the energy to do something on the weekend. I've seen this work in reverse...after  a fun, busy Thanksgiving (during which I had to go lie down :/) I needed a full day of rest on Saturday. The only problem with that is that life isn't predictable.


Tomorrow, provided I get some tips for coping with fatigue from my doctor, I will write about some of the things we fatigue sufferers can do to help. By all means, if you have a suggestion, please leave a comment. But for tonight, I am too frustrated with this topic to continue talking about it.

Positivity in the Face of Uncertainty

Life is crazy. No one knows what will happen tomorrow or what troubles they may face. This is a truth that I have learned the easy way and the hard way. But chronic illness makes that slightly worrisome, normal part of daily life much more terrifying. Every morning when I wake up, I do a mental check to see what is working and what is not. Do I have feeling in my fingers and toes? Am I confused? Am I experiencing side effects from my injection last night? Do I have any new "weirdness"? And if my morning gets the "all clear", I can pretty much bank on having an issue before lunchtime. This means I live in a constant state of uncertainty and anxiety.

Trying to stay positive is hard, even for a naturally positive person like me. I have no idea how the pessimists do it. The thing that is the most draining is that MS isn't an illness that you go "through" and it is not something that gets better over time. The best I can hope for is that things stay the same. There is no light at the end of the MS tunnel, because there isn't an end to the tunnel.

Lord help me, that is depressing.

So I have to re-imagine the tunnel. Instead of a creepy dark tunnel, I have to think of one of those New Age above ground glass tunnels...I think they have them in Europe. My tunnel has to be the kind where I can still see the beauty of the world around me. Perhaps the train tracks are covered in glitter or something or crystal chandeliers provide the light inside. And laughing...there must always be laughing.

Today wasn't a great one, health-wise; I woke up with the fake flu (flu symptoms are a side effect of Rebif) and spent the whole morning and afternoon in bed with fatigue. But I was able to go see my nephews this evening and they bring me so much joy. Now that I am home and ready for bed, I begin to worry about what tomorrow will bring. So I pray. I tell God about my anxieties and he gives me peace. I think about all the people who have a harder life than me and find myself being so thankful for what I have been given.

Perspective and Prayer.These are the keys to coping with the uncertainty ...and sometimes Xanax. :)

Old posts from Tumblr.

This is Round 2 of my MS blog....here are the old posts:

2 Years and Counting..

This week marks two years since I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. As I was thinking about this today I realized that I have never once asked God to cure me or take away this disease. I have complained to him about my symptoms, yes, and I have felt discouraged by my weakness due to the disease, but I never asked him to take it. I have known from the beginning of this journey that God would use this diagnosis to do great things in my life. Being weak and afraid keeps me usable to God. 

For most of my adult life I have struggled with invisible health problems, the kind that people don’t see when they look at you. There are many of these: Allergies and Food In-tolerances, Arthritis, Cancer, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Myofascial Pain, Depression /Mental Illness, Diabetes and Blood Sugar, Digestive Disorders; Example IBS, colitis, Celiac etc., Eating Disorders, Headaches, Migraines, etc., Infertility, Lupus, Lyme Disease, Multiple Sclerosis, Neurological Diseases, Pain Management, Sjogren’s Syndrome, Thyroid Disorders…the list goes on and on. These illnesses are the kind that can really take a toll on your spirit because you “look fine” to others but can be really suffering on the inside. This is a pain I know all too well. When I was younger and dealing with depression and anxiety, Ibegged God constantly to take it all away. But one day while looking for help in the Bible I found 2 Corinthians 12. In this chapter, Paul talks about all the great ways he has been blessed and all the hard work he has done to stay righteous, but then talks about his weaknesses. He says that he has been given a thorn in his flesh, a demon to torment him, so that he would not become too proud. And then he says this: “Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I began to understand that God and I have different ideas about what I need and what makes a great life. We have different understandings of everything. When you have a thorn in your flesh (I am being literal here for a second) or a splinter in your hand, people who love you don’t necessarily see it unless you show it to them. That exposure takes vulnerability, humility and courage. These are the qualities that God needs in his people who do his work. These qualities are only cultivated through difficulty and trust in God. 

God never took away my depression and he isn’t going to cure my MS, so I don’t ask. But he will use my struggles to help others and do his work. And really, that’s more important than being in perfect health while on earth anyway. I would rather he tackle world hunger. I’ll be fine.

Heat and MS

Where I live, the high temperature is 102 today. I’ve always been sensitive to the heat, and in learning about my MS, it makes sense why. People with MS report having a worsening of their symptoms in hot conditions or after exercise or a hot shower. According to the National MS Society’s website, “These temporary changes can result from even a very slight elevation in core body temperature (one-quarter to one-half of a degree) because an elevated temperature further impairs the ability of a demyelinated nerve to conduct electrical impulses.” So when I get hot, my nerves have trouble communicating with my brain and vice-versa. This explains a lot. 

On Saturday, I went to the Biggest Loser Casting Call audition in Chicago and stood in the sun and heat for 8 hours. I didn’t think to bring water. Or a chair. Or sunscreen. By one’o’clock I was sunburned and tired. The BL staff handed out applications for us to fill out while we waited. My hands had begun tingling earlier in the day (one of my regular symptoms) but as time and the heat wore on it got worse. I grabbed my pen to fill out my app and had alarming trouble writing. My hands were tingling and numb and shaking. I knew what I wanted to write, but it was like my signals were getting crossed and my hands just weren’t doing what they were supposed to. This had never happened before and I was frightened. I kept having to take breaks in the writing and thinking really hard about each word as I put it on the paper. A little while later I was having trouble texting my friends who were asking about our progress in line and had to resort to phone calls. It wasn’t long before I started feeling faint and had to sit down on a nearby parking barrier. Thankfully my friend went to get Gatorade and a snack. the hydration gave me enough strength to continue, but I was, (and still am) concerned about how my symptoms reacted to the heat.

Through this experience, I learned that I am going to have to take better care of myself in the heat. In my mind, it feels like I am “wimping out” and I am afraid people will attribute my issues to my weight and not my MS. On a side note: I am beginning a weight loss competition with a personal trainer friend of mine on Tuesday, so I am hoping that getting some weight off will help with my MS symptoms.

If you have MS or know someone who does, check out this post on the MS Society’s page about minimizing the effects of heat on MS. Really, go look at it. I’ll be here when you get back. Also, on a personal note, it is helpful if the people with an MS loved one remind them of these tips if you are planning an outing together. Two heads are always better than one. Unless they are on the same body. Then people will stare.

Walk MS 2012 Springfield

24 hours later and thinking about Walk MS still moves me to tears. 

The day started at 7am. I hadn’t slept much because I was so excited. Marissa picked me up and we jammed to Reggaeton (Latin hip hop) on the way to church. My parents and Grandma had already arrived by the time we got there; I knew because the greeter at the door said she had already seen some of our matching T-shirts (they are kinda hard to miss) come through. We filled a row and a half in the service, where the topic was Plan B-When God Doesn’t Help You Succeed. I thought about my failures in life during the sermon, and how God always has a better plan than my Plan A. 

After church 15 of us gathered for brunch at IHOP. I loved watching my friends and family interact and laugh together. My heart was filled with such joy to see my little nephews, Blake (age 3) and Logan (age 1) sporting their matching shirts that said, “Walking for my Aunt B” on the back. 

When we got to the park, my aunt and uncle were there waiting. We went inside to register where volunteers had free food, water, water bottles, bandanas, sport bags and other freebies for us. There were a couple hundred people who had come out in support of MS. 

We took some fun pictures and friends upon friends kept joining us.

It was 90+ degrees outside and even hotter in the sun. This did not deter Team BDazzle. They were with me from the beginning to the end. Their support and love was unwavering. There are moments I recall where words were not spoken, but action spoke volumes. The friend who stayed with me at the back of the pack as I slowly climbed the hills with much difficulty, even though they themselves could go much faster. The friend who said “Let’s do it again” cheerfully after the first lap, even though most of the participants stopped walking due to the heat. The water fights on the way up the tough hills that made me laugh when I wanted to cry. The friend that streamed my favorite song on their phone to keep us motivated. The encouragement when I started to give up. The cheers and applause from my family as we crossed the finish line. The little guy that ran to me after I crossed the finish line, saying “Aunt B I was looking for you!” The time and energy commitments in the weeks leading up to the event. The sheer fact that they cared enough to come. The love that was shown in these moments and so many others will be the memories of this event that I carry in my heart for the rest of my life.

In the last 48 hours I have felt my love for them deepen as I witnessed these unspoken messages of love and support. This love and support has given me the courage to believe in myself. I knew it has always been there, but seeing it in action was life-changing.

As a result of yesterday, I have made some additional positive decisions in my life because of my renewed desire to be healthy and strong. 

To Team BDazzle, I want to say Thank You and I love you. While I have managed to put some of my feelings into words, I am still about 95% speechless. You amaze me and are a gift from God himself. There is no way I could ever repay or deserve the love and support you have shown me. You are all my heroes!

Small Victories

Have you ever told yourself that you were gonna do something healthy (i.e. eat right, exercise) and then not follow through despite the best intentions? I sure have…about a thousand times. About 45 of those times have been this year alone. Most recently, I decided I needed to start eating healthy and exercising and even made a pact with a friend to do this together (that lasted all of 3 days).

However, on Thursday, I learned in a therapy session how to ground myself and breathe deeply to reduce my stress level. Immediately after this session, I started craving freshness. First, I wanted the all-natural goodness of a Chipotle burrito bowl with brown rice. Not too uncommon…I love this meal. My next craving was for fruit. I NEVER crave fruit. If I am gonna crave something, it is probably Mexican food or cheese sauce….or Mexican food smothered in cheese sauce. MMM nachos! Anyway, I was craving fruit. Once that craving was satiated, I was thirsty…but only for water.

Veggies, fruit, water. Something was wrong here. It happened again Saturday. Healthy therapy (this time physical) followed by a veggie craving…tomato and cucumber salad…and water. It happened again tonight…I just finished a bowl of the fruit from Thursday.

Then I realized something. I had already made the big hurdle decision. It wasn’t just to eat right, but I chose to take care of my body and my mind through various methods of therapy. My body responded by helping me get what it needed through cravings. I don’t need to declare an official “start day” for a “diet”, I just need to make one good choice. One good choice can set you on the path to better choices as easily as a bad choice can put you on a path to destruction.

A series of good choices can really add up! Today’s victory: I haven’t had a drop of alcohol (something I have decided to lay off of for a myriad of great reasons) in two weeks, and I have been eating more fruit and vegetables for 4 days!!! I hope to see some results of these choices soon. Time to celebrate by…oh, going to sleep. I guess it is getting late. :)

Keep Calm and Sparkle!

Welcome to Keep Calm and Sparkle!!!! (Round 2)

I am creating this blog as a space for sharing the journey through life with Multiple Sclerosis. I hope that this will be a place where others affected by MS (whether personally or though a friend/family member) can share stories and encourage one another. While MS is not the sole focus of my life (not by a long shot), it does tend to demand my attention often (which is literally a shot…). Sometimes weird things happen in my mind and body, which completely freak me out. I figure,  if I feel this way, others may too and maybe we need a place that we can share. I don’t intend for this blog to be entirely for complaining, but some honest reality is healthy. I also want to educate others about the day-to day MS struggles. MS looks different in every life it touches and I think raising awareness of that is important.

My goal is to, like the title suggests, keep calm and sparkle despite MS. I also want to share joys and triumphs here, and perhaps tips to make living with MS a little less complicated. I’ve only been facing MS realistically for about 1year, so I’m new at this. But I know that I want to help others and this blog is one of the ways I want to do that. 

Keep Calm and Sparkle, my friends.

BDazzle